Wednesday, November 7, 2012 Talk about the last compliment you received. (I write but not always on schedule)
Oh how I have difficulty receiving compliments! I don’t know what it is about them and me that I feel embarrassed or “unworthy” about getting them. It has been a not too often moment when I have gotten a compliment and I immediately replied with a great big smile and a thank you. Usually I beg to differ or I dampen the compliment with an “Oh really?” reply. I even had a friend tell me a few times “You don’t know how to accept a compliment do you?” Darned if she isn’t correct! Maybe it’s my self confidence or I don’t wish to seem like a braggart – I don’t know. But whatever it is – it would be so nice to be able to get a compliment and just say “Gee! Thank you very much!” and leave it at that.
The other day I received two compliments and did my usual in response to both of them. I received one compliment about my hair. A professional makeup artist told me how he really loved my hair being curly and how great it looked. I smiled and said thank you but inside I was going “Ugh! It drives me nuts when it’s curly! I can never get it to do what I want it to! It looks strange this way!” and so forth and so on. You curly girls out there will understand what I’m saying. Curls just have a mind of their own and taming them is sometimes a lesson in futility. Learning to love my outer curly girl is taking some effort but I will admit that not blow drying my hair flat is a lot easier and time efficient. Watch me change my mind on that in about 5 seconds.
And then someone told me how much they admired my photography. They thought my work was amazing. Again, I smiled and said “Thank you, really?” with my head bowed and my inner critic going absolutely ballistic on me. Sometimes I think I hit it right and I’m proud of my work but more times than not I am not happy with it. There is always me beating me with – you should’ve been more patient, you should’ve taken more shots, you should get contacts (that’s my issue with glasses and focusing properly some days), that composition was lame, why don’t you try bracketing, etc. etc. Sometimes I’m not very nice to myself. My problem is I compare my work to others and feel under whelmed. But then again they had to start somewhere too and there just might be someone out there looking at my work and wishing they could do like I do (at least my little ego hopes that happens sometimes). I must remind myself to keep going, practicing and learning, and to be nicer to me when it comes to what I do…and accepting compliments.
I found this little affirmation on Pinterest. I really should print it out and hang it up over my desk.
I think I’m going into flower withdrawal because of the weather.