The memories of early Mother’s Day with my mom are very vague. It’s as if they’ve been erased from my mind or something. All I can remember are those last days where Alzheimer’s had her firmly in her grip. There is one slight memory of dad getting her her favorite chocolates and getting me a little something saying that one day I too would be a mom. Now how did he know that? But for some reason all I can clearly recall are the ones when I was taking care of her – sigh.
Oh I still miss mom but it’s not as angst inducing as it has been; guess that means I’ve gotten better at accepting things. What has been most difficult is seeing all of these moms and daughters out together at stores, malls, etc. That has stung – a lot. I miss that I cannot nor have I been able to do that with my mother for a very long time and now that I live someplace else, I haven’t been able to do it with my daughter. Being in another state from the offspring and their offspring makes me sad but as I have had to accept that mom is gone, so I must accept that I am here in point B and they are in point A.
It’s a strange feeling to be a mom, mother in law, and grandma but without a mom of my own; the mantle has been passed. But in the midst of all of this I must realize that I am still me – me with all of my ups and downs, strengths and weaknesses, and good, bad and just plain wonderfully uniquely strange traits.
So having said all of that I say – Happy Mother’s Day to all of you other moms in all of your incarnations. You new moms are in for the ride of your lives and we “mature” moms can look back at it all and say ” We survived it, didn’t throttle them (much), and now we get to watch what they’ve grown into as well as spoil the grands and then give them back to their parents!” PAYBACK BABY!
Best job I’ve ever had 🙂