Today I won’t be doing a wordless Wednesday because today is a special day and I have a message and request for you. Today would’ve been my mother’s 99th birthday (I was a late in life “bonus baby” or as sister #3 said to mom “What? You’re pregnant again?” That sister was never one for mincing words). She passed away in 2o1o after a long arduous journey with Alzheimer’s. That was not a fun journey…not one bit! In the past I’ve let out little bits of my journey as a caregiver to her and daddy on this blog when I felt it was appropriate.
But there is something different about this years birthday. I’ve been weepy and moody and out of sorts and I don’t really know why. I’m happy that mom is with dad and my brother and two sisters and I thought that the biggest part of my grieving was over. But I have discovered that there is no time limit or expiration date for grief.
I’m much better with it than in the first year after she passed but there are some lingering emotions and thoughts that have been jockeying for position; wanting to come out. I suppose that I am now ready to really talk about the journey of being a caregiver; to help heal myself and to perhaps help others who are now in the position I once was in.
So I invite you to come and visit my other blog – A Caregivers Memoirs – and read my letter to my mother on her birthday. I warn you, this letter gets a lot deeper than you have perhaps ever seen me be here in photography land. Maybe this subject matter isn’t for you and that is perfectly understandable but it is about a big segment of my life and how it has left it’s mark on me.
If it’s not for you maybe you know of someone who is a caregiver that could benefit some from my blog; sharing is caring. Either way I do ask you to please read my letter to my mother for her birthday and I thank you for doing it.
Happy Birthday to you, Momma
Images by T.Dashfield Photography 
Going there right now. my Dad passed in 2002 and now I feel the loss more so than other years.
I’m still trying to work out my feelings but yes, I have recently begun to feel the loss more than before too.
When I read your post yesterday, I wondered if we weren’t approaching a milestone date for your parents. As the previous commenter stated, some years, some dates, are harder to take than others. We all go through it, each in our own way, Teri.
Thanks, John. This all came out of nowhere and smacked me in the head. I guess something somewhere was saying – it’s time!
Thanks for stopping by my blog yesterday and liking some photos. And apparently you and I have something in common. I was also the “late in life, bonus baby, #3 son (no daughters)” My mom died in 2004, age 89 and also from Alzheimer’s. My parents were married but when I was born that man abandoned the family leaving my Mom to raise a new baby and 2 teenage brothers. She was my saint.
Thank you for stopping by and commenting and a lot of us are/will be/have been in the same boat of having a parent with Alzheimer’s. Sometimes I think we bonus babies were born for a special reason.
TD: I just finished reading “A Caregiver’s Memoir” while drinking my morning coffee, and I am awash with so many emotions. It was riveting and so well written. In an odd sort of way, it made your photography even more beautiful because the deep well that you draw from gives a contrast that heightens the beauty you see. I never had a mother that wasn’t disconnected from the here and now (paranoid-schizophrenia) so it rips me apart when I learn of others who had a good mom and Alzheimer’s rips that nurturing connection from them. Your story also scared me to my core as I race towards 70. When I finish this comment, I’m calling my girls–just to chat.
You’ll be in my thoughts and prayers today, my lovely talented friend. Your story broke my heart for you.
Thank you for your kind words and please call me Teri. I mean we are friends and all that now 🙂 You never really know what makes a person the person they are until you get past the outward facade and really get to the foundations of their being. My mother was no saint, but she was my mother and she was a big part of my life. I once told people that no matter how much I didn’t want to be the one responsible for her I couldn’t face God at judgement time with excuses for why I didn’t. I hope you come back and read future installments as I let the knot unravel 🙂
Teri it is! You know for sure I will read the follow ups. You are one of my favorite bloggers because the beauty you capture always touches my soul.
Awwwwwww thanks 🙂
I/we nursed my mom until she died at age 84. I’m good with words but there are not enough of them to describe the experience….. I feel for you kid.
Terry
Thanks. Taking care of a sick loved one leaves it’s mark on your forever.
I think i’ll read when I get home because I’m still a little emotional from my grandmothers death day a few days ago. She didn’t pass from the same thing but I’m not sure if I can deal! Happy Birthday to your mom, if she was anything like you i’m sure she was a wonderful woman!
Mom was something else that’s for sure! LOL But thank you so so much for your kind words and you have my condolences over your grandmothers passing.