As we near the end of pandemic year 2020 I am asking you all… how are you? Are you well? Are you managing? How’s your health and the health of friends and family? Have you gone lock down crazy and if so how many times so far? Have you run out of things to do, photograph, make, cook, clean up, decorate, etc? And we will not mention how much weight we may have gained – although after my last physical my doctor gave me a bit of a talking to. Doc did not fully grasp my self “medicating” mode of a giant bowl of popcorn or pretzels – I wonder why?
When both of us were not in emergency rooms, out patient surgery centers and more doctors offices than I ever want to see again, we took up birding which has been quite entertaining, healthy and educational. I did photograph some of the protest marches here in Columbus earlier this year for which I won a documentary photography award but after awhile and as infection rates climbed I opted to stay with nature and my street photography ceased.
In this entire year I have only hugged DH and the nurse who helped me during surgery. That’s just two people all year!!! Ok, so DH is a constant stream but you get my point. And smiles? This has been the year without face to face smiles (thank goodness for Face-time and Zoom). They may have been under masks but it’s a bit hard to see if someone is smiling unless you are well versed in deciphering facial expressions.
I miss traveling and visiting family specially the wild and wonderful 4 year old who has started pretending he is doing a YouTube show on his tablet. His mother told me that he puts his tablet on selfie mode and then says “Hello and welcome to my channel!” I so so wish I could see him do that ♥ And in case you are wondering where he got that from, his mother watches YouTube tutorials on crafting.
When I get moody and down I start to tear through the house throwing out things. Old receipts, grocery bags, Amazon boxes, etc. Now I’m doing something a bit different. I am going through storage boxes and deciding I no longer need to hold onto a memory that is NOT worth holding on to and I’m getting my Marie Kondo on (if it doesn’t bring you joy get rid of it) by letting go of some other good “memories” I’ve had stored in boxes for entirely too long.
I am scanning photos that I want to keep into a special file on an external hard drive and then mailing said photos to the next generation. I’ve sent relatives photos of them taken when they were children, I sent my nephew baby photos of his children that he had lost in a house flood, my son is getting his award certificates from his winning Science Fair projects and I’m assembling a box of photos and other memorabilia of and from my brother for his youngest daughter. I don’t need to hold on to them anymore, my brother will always be in my heart, and these are things I know she will love. How I got his meal card from when he was stationed at the RAFB in Thailand I’ll never know but it’s time it went to be loved in a new home.
But something odd happened while I was going through boxes deciding save, pitch or ship off… I felt old and vulnerable for some strange reason. I felt like someone in one of these strange movies where they are giving away their things to become a hermit, join a religious order,the foreign legion or are getting ready to pass over. Considering how this year has gone where I have lost two dear relatives to other health concerns, two to the virus, and the kids just last week lost a great uncle to it – thoughts and feelings are understandably wobbly and tender.
We will all get through this one way or the other (hopefully in a good way) and life will go on although it may be a bit different for awhile – who knows! Thanks for letting me go on, I needed to let it out and sometimes writing can be quite therapeutic. So in closing, here is an Eastern Bluebird for some happiness.
Thanks for reading and stay safe – Teri
